This morning MoneyKing heard yet another annoying CD commercial from some bank. The bank in question here is Fifth Third.

Let MoneyKing break this down for you:

1. The ad begins with someone talking about how he’s finally found what he wants to do with his retirement.
2. Then the guy explains that he knows what kind of money he needs in the future to accomplish his goals, but doesn’t know what to do with the cash NOW as he’s only 5 years from retirement.
3. The guy explains that Fifth Third really helped him with his goals (banks are always trying to preach to us about goals, of course) by giving him a CD with a great interest rate.

Wow. That’s so awesome.

After MoneyKing got his socks rocked off by this most stupendous tale of goals and planning, MoneyKing heard the voice of the “general announcer dude” supposedly from Fifth Third telling him that Fifth Third is the cat’s meow and so wonderful, blah, blah, blah.

At the end of the ad, “general announcer dude” gave the coup de grâce. He said that what was even better about getting a CD from Fifth Third is that that bank had over 150 years of experience behind it to [insert general affirmative and reassuring phrase here for ordinary folks shakin’ in their boots right now about the banking system].

MoneyKing thought to himself, “Hmmmmmm. Where has MoneyKing heard this ‘150 years’ sh(t before????”

Then MoneyKing remembered! Lehman Brothers, that’s where! So MoneyKing thought, “Fifth Third is trying to add creditability to its argument that people should buy CDs from its bank, because it’s like Lehman Brothers with its 150 years of experience!”

Wait!!!

Maybe MoneyKing’s confused . . . Lehman’s done, and their 150 years of experience matters not at this point. Maybe Fifth Third should put the “age implies wisdom” tactics to rest as well.

Good luck sifting through the BS out there.