Welcome to the notorious Sexual Sundays!

For your consideration: A Million Kid Expenses.

That’s what one of Money King’s best friends has been hearing lately.

Why?

Because he’s having his first child. Now, of course, we all know of the millions of expenses related to children. Today, however, Money King wanted to isolate 5 expenses that his buddy might not be thinking of that are kind of hard to avoid.

1. Unfinished meals: No matter how many “KIDS EAT FREE!” meals you can reap in, you’ll still wind up throwing away 50% of half-eaten meals at home or in restaurants. Kids seem to love to NOT clean their plates.
2. Lost personal possessions: Whether they be keys down the toilet, or cell phones in the garbage, look to your kids to take some of your most irreplaceable items and lose them—forever.
3. Pet injuries: This might seem like a stretch, but think about it. If someone’s going to let your cat out to get hurt by coyotes, or accidentally burn your dog, or stab your fish in the eye, it’s your kids and not you.
4. House damage: Say hello to more time lost unclogging toilets, filling holes in your back yard, patching holes in drywall and repainting walls.
5. Busted ear drums: Maybe Money King’s friend will get lucky, but for those of you with “screamers” you know what I’m talking about . . .

Good luck out there.

Keywords: family, kids, money, costs, expenses, children

Welcome to the notorious Sexual Sundays!

For your consideration: Quit Spoiling Your Kids.

Don’t people get it? Don’t people understand that they’re ruining the world by filling it with offspring that can't fend for themselves? Don’t people understand that buying your kids ANYTHING they want, because you didn’t have anything doesn’t teach your kids anything—specifically, how to work???!!!

So, people buy their kids new cars for their sixteenth birthday. The kid then winds up “needing” money for college (while never even trying to apply for scholarships). The kid then winds up needing money for a down payment on a house, because they can’t save a damn thing. The kid is then 30 years old, and not a kid anymore, but winds up needing to move back home, because the house gets foreclosed on. The kid is still living at home at age 39. Blah. Blah. Blah.

You know the story. You know why you know the story?

Here’s how not to spoil your kids, since so many of you need direction:

1. When they’re old enough to hold a rake or shovel, or tie their own shoes, make sure they’re doing so.
2. When they’re old enough to legally work, make sure they are.
3. When they’re old enough to apply for scholarships, make sure they are.
4. When they’re old enough to be on their own, make sure you put them out of the house

We know. We know. This is too harsh . . . You love your kids . . .

Ask yourself this: If you loved your kids, would you want them to be self-reliant or reliant on you?

Good luck out there.

Keywords: family, gifts, kids, equipment, toys, clothes, money, save

Welcome to the notorious Sexual Sundays!

For your consideration: Once Upon A Child.

Today’s a quick tip, since we’re talking about sex, etc. Eventually, all that sex will probably lead to a kid. So, early in the game, if you’re looking to save cash, what you can do is check out a place called Once Upon A Child.

We have these stores in the Midwest. We’re not quite sure what you guys have out there in internet-land. What we are sure of is that we love these stores.

1. Kids grow fast.
2. Even if you have 13 of them in succession, you’ll still wind up with clothes, toys and equipment that just isn’t usable by your family anymore.
3. You can not only buy stuff for your kids at this store, but also resell it.

It’s the best of everything. If you get two cribs for a baby shower, and you can’t take one back to the store, sell it at Once Upon A Child.

Strapped for cash already, and now you just found out you’re having triplets! That’s why you have places like Once Upon A Child . . . another option to keep more in your pocket and less into the black hole of expensive stuff you’ll use for about 12 months.

Good luck out there.

Keywords: family, gifts, kids, equipment, toys, clothes, money, save

Welcome to the notorious Sexual Sundays!

For your consideration: Stockpiling Gifts.

Father's Day just happens to fall on a Sexual Sundays day. Cool! We just so happen to have a quick money saving tip for holidays like today.

What's interesting is that MoneyKing's father isn't really the type of dad to get or receive gifts. MoneyKing is a bit more sentimental towards his father, so he feels like it's a nice gesture to get his dad something on father's day. Maybe MoneyKing's wrong. Regardless, as all of our loyal readers know, MoneyKing is one of The Money Kings. In fact, MoneyKing is the cheapest of them all. And, yes, we're saying "cheap" here, because that's the way most people perceive MoneyKing. For the record, MoneyKing perceived most people right back as materialistic--and he can prove it, of course.

Just look at the American economy . . .

The President: "Just keep spending."
People: "We need to keep our economy stimulated."
The President: "Here's $300. Go spend it on something. We don't care what . . ."

Nice existence we're living here.

Maybe some of the people that think MoneyKing is so damn cheap should get some friends from another country somewhere where they still have to know how to MAKE things and GROW things in order to survive vs. relying on the new equivalent of slavery. It's amazing what a few people from Brazil, Europe or Vietnam can tell you about human life on the other side of the oceans.

Anyway, we have to spend money on all these holidays, right? Instead of just telling your father you love him and maybe helping him out around the house or something. Buying him a $25 gift certificate to Wal-Mart will suffice.

If you're lucky, we guess, to have a father that likes things (like antiques, for example) that he might not be able to or have the desire to search for you can do something to save yourself time and money. The Money Kings' tip is:

So, if your dad likes antique books from the 20s. Go shopping. Buy enough of those books for 5 Father's Days and keep a hold of them. Trickle them out over the years. You'll save a ton of time and money on gas!

Good luck out there.

Keywords: family, gifts, presents, time, stockpiling, economy

Welcome to the notorious Sexual Sundays!

For your consideration: Sigoth Politics.

There’s one thing you better get straight with your sigoth:

What’s nice about internet dating is that you get to see, upfront, what your intended mate thinks about major political subjects.

When you start dating old school however, you gotta make sure you talk politics EARLY.

1. You gotta be on the same page.
2. You gotta be on the same page.
3. You gotta be on the same page.
4. You gotta be on the same page.
5. You gotta be on the same page.
6. You gotta be on the same page.

If not, you’re going to fight. If not, you’re going to fight over raising your kids. If not, you’re going to spend so much time in the car, at home, on vacation, with your in-laws, feeling uncomfortable and resentful.

Guess what’s even worse . . .

Remember those joint bank accounts and joint credit cards you thought were a great idea for efficiency and time saving? What happens with you’re a neocon and your sigoth gives money to the National Socialist Party? What happens when you’re a Libertarian and your sigoth gives month to D.A.R.E.? What happens when you’re a lib and your sigoth spends gas money driving to anti-abortion rallies every quarter?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Good luck out there.

Keywords: sex, relationship, love, sigoth, money, politics, talking, issues, fighting

Welcome to the notorious Sexual Sundays!

For your consideration: Three Old School Dates For Tough Times.

Economy got you down? Finding it difficult to go out to dinner with your sigoth, pay exorbitant prices for food, ridiculous prices for alcohol and then be expected to tip your server 20%? You're not alone.

The Money Kings have this strange opinion:

Who knew that paying too much for the pleasure of having someone prepare food for you to eat would be just as expensive during an economic boom as during a recession (and yeah, we're calling the American economy to be in a full recession--regardless of what the American government thinks)?

So you need some date ideas that won't make you broke. You need date ideas you can repeat. Here we go:

1. The Woods: This one is easy. If you're not afraid of a few bugs (yeah, they're part of that pesky food chain), you can go spend $60 on a pair of decent trail shoes and walk through nature till your hearts content. Set a goal of about a 2-hour hike. Pack a lunch and a blanket. Sit and T-A-L-K to one another. That $60 on shoes will probably last you 3 or more years, if you only use them on trails. The lunch? $25 tops. And yes, you can do this in the winter as well. Plenty of parks out there with hidden shelters. Some even with fireplaces. This is 2008. Park service folks are with it.
2. Strip Poker: Another easy one. Go to your local casino, and they'll probably GIVE you a deck of old cards. The rest is up to you and your sigoth. We suggest a quick pasta dish (notice how we said to NOT go out for pasta, being it has one of the highest rip-off margins we know of), and then straight to the dealing. Use your bed as a table.
3. Use The Bar In Your House: We love this one. So, so, so, many people have bars in their homes. Yet, they still GO to bars. This makes no Money King sense. If you want to get lit, go grab a few bottles of something from the grocery store; grab a case of beer, too. Have a seat at that bar you just had to build (or, please tell us we're wrong, had built) watch some TV. Discuss politics. Slur words. Pass out. Won't cost much, and that's probably what you're doing at [Insert Local Watering Hole's Name Here] while you're paying that 50% mark-up. Your own bar doesn't do much for girl/guy gazing, but hey, if you're on a date then get your head in the game!

Good luck out there.

Keywords: sex, relationship, love, sigoth, money, date, cost, recession