For your consideration: Drug Ads. Damn . . .

You gotta face the fact that a large amount of people make their money from the stupidity of others. Our government is supposed to protect us, right? How would you feel if you found out that some governments actually ban drug ads--ENTIRELY?

Why don't we ban drug ads here? There's a simple answer to this:

People will see an ad for depression medication, and then really think they're depressed and therefore need the drug. People will see an ad for headache medication, and then think they're more prone to headaches than others and therefore buy more drugs.

Don't be a sucker.

Also, check out this organization founded by an Australian doctor actually NOT taking money from the drug companies.

http://healthyskepticism.org/

Good luck out there.

Keywords: drugs, ads, dumb, stupid, people, money, need, manufactured illness

For your consideration: Erectile Dysfunction.

This topic will get the search engines going!

Anyway, this is serious.

Well, because people are spending serious amounts of cash on this issue, and companies are advertising like crazy to suck your dollars away based off something that they KNOW humiliates you as far down as you could possibly be humiliated.

You wanna know the best ways to get rid of ED? You wanna quit foolin' around? Here we go:

1. Relax. It's not the end of the world, if you can't get it up once or even twice, especially if you've been drinking.
2. Kegel exercises. Look it up.
3. Yohimbe bark. This one's an old remedy, but some people swear by it and it won't kill your bank account.
4. Your doctor. Viagra does work, and so do other prescription meds. They might do some other things to you body as well, so start with half of whatever is recommended and go from there.

From all the damn ads we hear and see for this issue, we just HAD to address it. Advertisers are addressing this issue daily. We thought 15 minutes might be worth our precious time.

This should probably be a Sexual Sundays post, but we think you'll forgive us this time. Just don't spend money on any of that crap that promises results or your money back. Just save time and do it the old school way. Hell, you could quit looking at porn. That might make your real wife/girlfriend even that much more attractive. Something to think about for a lot of you . . . Ouch! Was that a low blow?

Good luck out there.

Keywords: penis, sex, tool, man, money, frustration, solution

For your consideration: Honda Ads Don’t Make Sense.

We were looking through the latest copy of The Atlantic magazine and the back page just stuck out like a sort thumb.

What we saw was a blue sky with two people flying kites on a nice sunny day.

What a NICE day for a car advertisement. We can never get enough of these.

Alas, we digress . . .

The point of the ad was to accentuate the fact that Honda vehicles have a 15-year history of beating the industry average of 25 miles per gallon per vehicle. Honda comes in at 30 mpg. That’s great.

The only problem we saw what that the only vehicle featured in the ad was the Honda Element—a vehicle that Honda mercilessly advertises in so-called “liberally” minded magazines. Maybe they think that liberals think Elements are “cute.”

Well, Money Kings know that of all the vehicles Honda manufactures there’s only one that gets WORSE mileage than the Element: The Ridgeline.

Our MoneyKings tip is for Honda to not use of its most gas guzzling vehicles in an ad that accentuates their mpg features! Honda makes a great line of fuel efficient cars. They have for years. Why not showcase one of the hybrids? If you’re buying a Honda, you’re probably not looking at an Element with gas prices being as high as they are!

Good luck out there.

Keywords: advertisement, money, gas, economy, Honda, vehicle, cars, Element

For your consideration: Michigan Water Is Cold. That’s The Truth.

Welcome to another edition of advertising analysis.

We normally wouldn’t be addressing an entire state on our blog, but the constant advertisements for people to spend money in Michigan for various vacations:

1. The Fall: The colors are so great.
2. The Spring: The flowers are so great.
3. The Winter: The skiing and winter sports are so great.

. . .have finally culminated to one thing: Summertime water.

If you live in Illinois and listen to the radio, you’ve heard the overwhelmingly sappy Michigan.org commercials telling you about great memories and the BEST times you’ll ever have when you think of Michigan’s lakes and streams.

Whether or not any of this is true remains to be seen when actually vacationing in Michigan . . .

The Michigan ads are telling the truth about how clear and numerous the state’s lakes are, and how widely available they are for your fishing, boating and swimming needs. No problems there.

If you’re planning a vacation this year to Michigan, however, the one thing those ads don’t tell you is that the water in Michigan is

Don’t plan to get wet in Michigan in June or even July. Think August, and only August. A search for average water temperatures in Michigan will give you even better data.

The ads for Michigan.org are seemingly unending these days. They must be spending a boatload running these ads. The ads emphasis on water is simply misleading and therefore warrants an analysis from TheMoneyKings.com.

Why?

Because people get hyped up about this kind of stuff, and plan and save for their BIG Michigan vacation only to wind up being disappointed by just how unfriendly Michigan waters can be. Michigan.org should use some of their cold water to mix the Kool-Aid they're trying to force down people's throats with their ads.

Want to go swimming in June? Think Florida. In Michigan, you better bring a wet suit.

Good luck out there.

Keywords: advertising, exaggerations, cold, water, no, fun, misleading

Welcome to another edition of Advertising Analysis.

For your consideration: Medieval Times Mother’s Day Special: Why Don’t They Just Do It Everywhere? Damn!

Radio ads have been playing all day encouraging all listeners to partake in the festivities lauded upon onlookers at . . .

. . . dinner and tournament.

The Medieval Times radio ads actually do inform you of a great promotion: One adult ticket will yield you a free one for your mom from 5/10 to 5/13.

That’s not a bad deal. Medieval Times is pretty damn popular with families. We’re all looking for places/things/events, etc. to share with our mothers during Mother’s Day. Taking you mom to Medieval Times at a discount can’t be beat.

Benefits of Medieval Times:

1. The food is good and mostly filling. Just make sure you’re prepared to eat with your hands, cause you’ll get no utensils.
2. The temperature of the place is well-balanced and comfortable. The stadium is has nice high ceilings and is really large for the amount of people they cram into the space.

For your consideration: Give Us A Break GM.

Welcome to another edition of Advertising Analysis.

The automobile manufacturers will give us enough mojo for this column for centuries alone. Around 2034, when scientists finally defeat the aging gene, Money King will be still be cranking out posts regarding how much cash vehicles cost us vs. what we actually get out of them. There’s a novel idea for us all to consider.

One of our crew heard an advertisement from General Motors talking about their ”MPVs of MPG!!!!”

Blah. Blah. Blah. GM may be known for its muscle cars and trucks, but one thing it’s waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay behind on is: fuel efficiency. They're even getting their butts kicked by Ford.

1. Do we applaud these jokers for trying to accentuate that they really are attempting to improve MPG per vehicle?
2. Do we just laugh at their commercials talking about how they’re getting a whopping 35 MPG on the highway with the Cobalt when the Toyota Tercel was doing this back in the 1990?

As we watch gasoline in America shoot over $4 per gallon, we’re wondering why we’re not hearing ads from companies like GM saying: “Guess what. We got our a$$es kicked, but we’ve been around for 100 years and we’ve got a lot of money. So, we’re firing half of our executives and scraping money to buy Honda motors entirely.”